I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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