id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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