i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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