her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
