Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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