dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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