member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
