She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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