We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
