is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
