The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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