party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
