Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
