Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
