do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
