All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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