i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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