If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
