I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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