He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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