i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
