My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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