Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
love makes seman taste better
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
