So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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