just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
