he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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