There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
