I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
