Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
