I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
