My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
