you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
