you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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