In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
