Don't you send me to vm
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
