I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
