he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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