well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
