I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
