You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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