I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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