I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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