one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
