2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
