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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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