I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
