I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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