he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Holy shit dude........stairs
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
