she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
