so let's talk penis.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
