When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
