The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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