careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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