yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
