brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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