I could make wine with my vomit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
