She went from zero to smokin in five shots
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nutella sex= disaster
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
