I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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