to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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