Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

plz talk dirty to me

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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(320): View more from Minnesota

For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(213): View more from California

You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(831): View more from California

Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..

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(646): View more from New York

he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.

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