Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up

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  (813): he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up http://tfl.nu/iuqn
  Replies (8) Good night (2866) Bad night (1103)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

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  (413): So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge. http://tfl.nu/jdua
  Replies (20) Good night (2253) Bad night (3867)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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  (732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb
  Replies (4) Good night (2791) Bad night (1345)
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  (408): View more from California

  Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.

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  (408): Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something. http://tfl.nu/it4y
  Replies (15) Good night (2756) Bad night (1116)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

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  (435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj
  Replies (1) Good night (1010) Bad night (2674)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking

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  (585): you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking http://tfl.nu/y7bb
  Replies (4) Good night (3213) Bad night (930)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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  (419): Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/x4xs
  Replies (4) Good night (1708) Bad night (1014)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2518) Bad night (821)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.

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  (330): okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important. http://tfl.nu/wfir
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (1171)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.

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  (516): Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/jc2j
  Replies (15) Good night (1329) Bad night (649)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.

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  (201): I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made. http://tfl.nu/1nr5
  Replies (7) Good night (1905) Bad night (496)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?

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  (719): What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running? http://tfl.nu/08bt
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (490)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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  (260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (326)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.

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  (514): When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/fn7y
  Replies (12) Good night (1149) Bad night (325)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation

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  (407): Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation http://tfl.nu/aq4y
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (300)

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