Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i would rim the shit out of meg ryan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i would rim the shit out of meg ryan http://tfl.nu/j227
  Replies (23) Good night (944) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is
  Replies (28) Good night (514) Bad night (3895)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You fucking left with him didn't you?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand" (314): You fucking left with him didn't you?! http://tfl.nu/a3ou
  Replies (33) Good night (1636) Bad night (3929)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/iaie
  Replies (44) Good night (1347) Bad night (13265)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like http://tfl.nu/8q6a
  Replies (18) Good night (1558) Bad night (4903)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4
  Replies (64) Good night (5075) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0
  Replies (8) Good night (5564) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey. http://tfl.nu/gckq
  Replies (10) Good night (1858) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Would it have been easier if he talked to her?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled. (647): Would it have been easier if he talked to her? (416): Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing. http://tfl.nu/gzgt
  Replies (8) Good night (3650) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i
  Replies (5) Good night (441) Bad night (1777)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency. http://tfl.nu/azpx
  Replies (7) Good night (1762) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  God I hope the sex was good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie. (1-814): God I hope the sex was good. http://tfl.nu/1yhc
  Replies (6) Good night (417) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Welcome to Bellingham.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open. (360): Welcome to Bellingham. http://tfl.nu/j634
  Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (294)

Randomize