I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Those nachos came to me in a dream