Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It was kinda weird being the boss

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Did you feel like Tony Danza?

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  (540): It was kinda weird being the boss (1-540): Did you feel like Tony Danza? http://tfl.nu/xn58
  Replies (1) Good night (1770) Bad night (673)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.

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  (301): porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out. http://tfl.nu/nhkd
  Replies (6) Good night (1486) Bad night (607)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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  (678): That's the secret to virgins: blizzards. http://tfl.nu/jgfw
  Replies (10) Good night (2113) Bad night (652)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

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  (813): I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business??? http://tfl.nu/t2g2
  Replies (22) Good night (5242) Bad night (769)
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  (760): View more from California

  new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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  (760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz
  Replies (33) Good night (763) Bad night (8214)
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  (650): View more from California

  i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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  (650): i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head. http://tfl.nu/fao9
  Replies (9) Good night (1197) Bad night (3524)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You love me.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

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  (316): You love me. (785): That's because, tragically, I adore whores. http://tfl.nu/7eph
  Replies (29) Good night (8292) Bad night (1702)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.

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  (978): You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober. http://tfl.nu/95jv
  Replies (13) Good night (4045) Bad night (1190)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (849) Bad night (4390)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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  (845): Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye. http://tfl.nu/5hfu
  Replies (20) Good night (1529) Bad night (2976)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark

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  (302): the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark http://tfl.nu/i1gh
  Replies (5) Good night (1779) Bad night (812)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1353) Bad night (1058)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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  (860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (504)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude

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  (315): Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude http://tfl.nu/8w6o
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (374)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

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  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (267)

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