yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.