My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.