Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

(720): View more from Colorado

Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

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(505): You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call (720): Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days http://tfl.nu/6f8h

Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (591)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

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(410): You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out. http://tfl.nu/phll

Replies (17) Good night (3225) Bad night (626)
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(503): View more from Oregon

iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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(503): iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane. http://tfl.nu/zl9e

Replies (18) Good night (6538) Bad night (1151)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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(506): He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants. http://tfl.nu/uu5r

Replies (16) Good night (5069) Bad night (961)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.

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(815): I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man. http://tfl.nu/ripg

Replies (11) Good night (5379) Bad night (894)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(541): I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick. http://tfl.nu/18bv

Replies (11) Good night (1864) Bad night (676)
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(970): View more from Colorado

She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.

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(970): She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech. http://tfl.nu/63c3

Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (774)
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(315): View more from New York

I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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(315): I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus http://tfl.nu/f2or

Replies (5) Good night (1409) Bad night (764)
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(503): View more from Oregon

In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?

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(503): In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right? http://tfl.nu/gih8

Replies (4) Good night (1721) Bad night (929)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?

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(202): Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance? http://tfl.nu/xp3g

Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (284)
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(520): View more from Arizona

YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.

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(520): YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND. http://tfl.nu/s2r1

Replies (11) Good night (297) Bad night (1275)
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(214): View more from Texas

This is my gift to your gina

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(214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i

Replies (8) Good night (465) Bad night (287)
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(315): View more from New York

Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...

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(315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive... http://tfl.nu/bhkn

Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (438)
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(801): View more from Utah

The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.

(801): View more from Utah

The girl neighbor.

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(801): The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis. (801): The girl neighbor. http://tfl.nu/zc5m

Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (274)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.

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(937): Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one. http://tfl.nu/oxf6

Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (208)

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