I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
