You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?