we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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