Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
