So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
