She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
