Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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