You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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