yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
